Submitted by:

SarahJean

Hey, does anyone know how I can reach this woman? I see some more materials she can use for her recycled shirt endeavors.

Oh, also, lingerie-clad fat guy on a bike. Whee! *blows vuvuzela*

Personally, I’m a little tired of catching a glimpse of thongs from behind, so I’m glad that this woman had the innovative idea to flash hers from the front. Bravo!

Also, where can one go about learning those dance moves? Asking for a friend.

Oh, crap. I KNEW we shouldn’t have let grandpa start watching Jersey Shore.

If Tim Burton were ever to experience a Tiger Woods-esque scandal, this would be his Rachel Uchitel. I wonder what the steampunk version of Gloria Allred would look like?

I don’t blame this guy. That is exactly how I feel every time I try to order a large coffee with milk at Starbucks and the goth kid who works there insists that it’s called a “Venti Caffè Misto.” YOU WORK AT A DRIVE-THROUGH COFFEE SHOP, YOU PIMPLY-FACED BRAT. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE A HARVARD PROFESSOR TEACHING ME ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. IT’S CALLED A CAFÉ AU LAIT ANYWAY!!

* passes out *

1. What are these people drinking?

2. Where can I get some?

Today we’re experimenting with the opposite of being poorly dressed. This is the greatest piece of clothing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“What’s that dear? You want to get your abs workout in today by vacuuming my apartment? Again?! Why isn’t that SWEET of you!”

Ma’am, don’t step any closer to that gas pump. I’m a little worried that the friction between your bosom and that abusive looking bra might cause a spark.

MAN. Jail must have been REALLY rough on Lindsay Lohan. She is not looking fresh.

Submitted by: Unknown

Monday strikes again. All I want is a soda, but that damn cat is sitting in front of the machine again. SHOO!