Poorly Dressed People of the World – This is Your Fashion Wake-Up Call.

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This is what Martha Stewart’s nightmares look like. That, and a parade of cakes that each fall just short of “very excellent.”

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Just as with her grandchildren, Grandma loves all of her NFL teams equally. Except Detroit. There’s something that ain’t right with that one.

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Really? Is THIS what passes for runway accessorizing these days? Strapping a damn shoe from the Ross bargain bin to the top of your head?

What’s next? Pushing one of those shopping carts with the big vertical poles down the catwalk? Bringing your four screaming children with you? Modeling the clothes on disinterested customer service people who are not at all helpful?

Wait, WAIT! You can’t go out of the house like THAT! You might get a run in your stockings!

I look at this picture and immediately think, “Hmm, the dog’s the only one wearing pants. He must be the brains of this operation.”

Time to rethink some of the choices you’ve made in life.

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“Go ahead, PETA. Try me. You think a little red paint is going to ruin this coat? I dare you.”

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My intention with this blog is not — nor will it ever be — to make fun of fat people. I’ve never subscribed to the idea that someone shouldn’t be allowed to dress the way they want just because they don’t match the height/weight ratio that our society has deemed ideal.

I do, however, strongly abhor the notion of stealing, especially from children. Somewhere out there, right now, there is a toddler missing her swimsuit, and this woman is responsible. Shame on you, lady. That just isn’t right.

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Rumer Willis inherited her killer body from her mother and her strong jaw line from her father. And, judging by this picture, her fashion sense from the curtains in a set background of Moonlighting.

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God I hate fur. How many off-Strip casino floors do you suppose had to die just to make this one ugly coat? Given the way the King of Klass’s waistcoat buttons are straining under the pressure, I’m going to guess half of the Hard Rock and all of the Tropicana.

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You know what? I like it. I totally appreciate it when the nutters on public transportation give you some kind of heads-up about their mental state. I hate finding out after I’m already knee-deep a conversation about lizard people from the center of the Earth.