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You know how they say that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I sincerely hope that these people, that shirt, and that “dress” stay in Vegas.

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If you’ve ever looked through your closet and thought to yourself, ”I have nothing to wear,” well, then try your tool box. Duct tape is THAT versatile.

And BONUS: after you slip out of that duct tape dress, you can call your esthetician and cancel that next waxing appointment.

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What’s manlier than growing a mustache? Growing two mustaches.

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Uh oh, you guys. High heels and no underwear at the convenience store? Looks like Britney Spears is headed for another meltdown.

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American Apparel’s Eastern European ad campaign is a little different than the ones they use here. But only a little.

This is not to say that Dov Charney didn’t have sex with this model, because he did. Twice.

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This seems about right. I wear the same dead-eyes expression when I’m modeling the latest sweater that my grandma knit for me.

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Here’s a look that’s yet to catch on in my neck of the woods. I suppose it would be good for mail carriers, UPS workers, and anyone else who drives around in a vehicle with no doors and finds that one leg gets cold while the other is hot.

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I’ve spent a lot of time wondering about the correlation between cell phone stores and crazy people (“a lot” being the amount of time I’ve spent in cell phone stores waiting for someone to help me). Last time I was at the AT&T store, an old lady was screaming at one of the employees because he wouldn’t install “some’a them pie-phone apps” on her eighties-era Zach Morris phone. Another guy was going around to all the camera phone floor models in the store and taking pictures of his crotch. It was like being in the waiting room in hell, except with a stronger sense of impending doom.

This woman is probably asking why there’s so much interference in her phone reception. Maybe it’s the SATELLITE DISH’S worth of metal she has holding her hair up. Local radio stations probably have problems when she walks by the building.

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Please tell me that this isn’t going to be the look this fall. I JUST stopped having District 9 nightmares a couple weeks ago. I can’t go through it again.

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I don’t remember this story from Grimm’s Fairy Tales. But I’m pretty sure the moral is that little girls who don’t eat their dinner will grow up to be Seussian hookers.